Prince William Set To Leave Wife Kate Middleton In A Sad Turn Of Events

The last few years have been a real eye opener about who Kate the Princess Wales, actual human woman with hopes, fears and an Amazon Prime account, really is. 

She is a person who loves wild swimming, “the colder the better,”, plays beer pong and has the Photoshopping skills of a shortsighted retiree undertaking a night class under sufferance. 

The latest Kate detail to wend its way into the public arena – that last year she, husband Prince William, their children, their security team and nanny (I’m assuming), travelled to the French ski town of Méribel for a secret holiday with sister Pippa Matthews. 

(The families enjoyed, according to the Times, “cosy apres-ski lunches together hidden in the snowy forest” which sounds like a scene out of Hans Christian Andersen if he wrote for Tatler.) Now, William is set to return to the Continent for reasons that go beyond filling up the cargo space on an RAF flight with decent Burgundy and crates of La Roche-Posay. 

The coming months will see the prince take a starring role on the royal stage, including a milestone trip to France – all without Kate. With two words in her history-making (and history- shaking) video last month – “preventive chemotherapy” – the princess wiped every carefully planned away day and charity selfie-a-thon of 2024 off the board. 

(And damned right too.) What that means is that Crown Inc. is about to go into its busiest season – the spring and summer months, which usually see Kate out in floral, Emilia Wickstead-clad force -with William flying depressingly solo, at home and abroad. 

In a normal year, May, June and July would see Kate really give us our heady annual dose of princessing. Any other year, about now, she would be gearing up for the Chelsea Flower Show, Wimbledon, Trooping the Colour, the Order of the Garter parade at Windsor Castle, Royal Ascot, and the usual round of Buckingham Palace garden parties. 

Those blogs and writers devoted to chronicling her every pair of moderately priced beaded earrings incongruously paired with eye-wateringly expensive designer frockery would be in clover. 

Hemlines and hattery and pearls, oh my! 2024 was set to be an even bigger year on this front with June this year also set to see a contingent of senior royal family members descending on Normandy for the 80th anniversary commemoration of the D-Day landings. 

To give you a sense of how significant a deal this event is, already, Buckingham Palace is making noises about King Charles attending even though he too is being treated for cancer. 

For His Majesty’s first public appearance in months on Easter Sunday, that reportedly required careful planning and he was seated “slightly apart” from the congregation inside St George’s Chapel. An overseas trip – the flight, the hotel, being around all those coughing, germy people – are another level altogether.